Living Through Alzheimer's with My Wife

When Lynn Wenger's wife, Wendy, was diagnosed with early-stage Alzheimer's at just 59 years old, life took a sudden and difficult turn. They had built a life together, raised children, cultivated friendships, and stayed active in their community. But now, Lynn was no longer just a husband. He became a caregiver, advocate, and, in many ways, the keeper of their shared past. He tells his story in his book, A Husband's Memoir: A Journey Through Alzheimer's.

Looking back, Lynn now sees that the signs were there long before the official diagnosis. Wendy began to forget small things. She dropped out of her book club. She struggled with following conversations and later admitted to feeling unsafe while driving at night. For someone who had worked as a registered nurse and managed a busy allergy clinic, the shift in her confidence and ability was unsettling.

In the early stages, they sought clarity through doctor's visits, scans, and neurological evaluations. Eventually, they received a diagnosis of early-stage Alzheimer's. Lynn approached caregiving with the same methodical attention he'd once applied to work, family, and volunteer roles. He kept a journal, documented Wendy's symptoms, and navigated an overwhelming number of medical decisions, from medication options to social security disability paperwork. Even as his own health issues emerged, he stayed by Wendy's side.

In the beginning, there were still good days. They walked around their neighborhood, enjoyed time with their grandchildren, and sang together in the church choir. Wendy, who always had a big heart, even helped at a friend's business, packaging boxes and lending a hand where she could. But over time, the disease progressed. She grew more confused, agitated, and reliant on Lynn for even the most basic tasks.

He watched as the woman he knew slipped away, bit by bit.

As challenging as the caregiving was, Lynn never gave up. He found support through a local Adult Daycare Center, where Wendy thrived for a time. She joined in karaoke sessions, laughed with staff and other residents, and even "did rounds" with another retired medical professional. The staff became a second family, offering hugs, showers, manicures, and most importantly, dignity.

But Alzheimer's doesn't pause. Wendy's behavior became increasingly erratic. She experienced meltdowns in public, accidents at home, and more sleepless nights filled with pacing and restlessness. Even small pleasures like going out to eat with friends became minefields of emotion and unpredictability. She began to lash out in anger or confusion, only to melt into tears minutes later. Lynn, ever patient, adapted daily.

Through surgeries, travel, stress, and grief, he continued to show up for her and with her.

Music remained one of Wendy's last joys. She could still sing along to 70s hits and laugh at inside jokes. And though Alzheimer's took much from her, it couldn't erase the deep connection she shared with her husband.

Today, Lynn shares his story in A Husband's Memoir: A Journey Through Alzheimer's to help others on a similar journey. Caregiving is hard, lonely, and relentless, but love is stronger. Through his memoir, Lynn wants others to know it's okay to feel lost or exhausted, to ask for help, and to find moments of grace amid the chaos.

Read Lynn and Wendy's story in A Husband's Memoir: A Journey Through Alzheimer's.